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Work isn’t just about work, there’s a social side as well. And, whether you enjoy socializing or not, coworkers and employers will judge you based on both sociability and productivity. It may not seem fair, but this is even more true for women than men. So, how can you succeed if you just hate workplace parties? Or, what about if you don’t mind informal interactions at work, but you’re not quite sure how to go about it? I’m a therapist and professional coach for individuals with Asperger’s, and I also spent over a decade working as an engineer, so I’m well versed in helping individuals figure out all the unwritten rules of socialization at work. Here are a few tips.

1) Why is work so social in the first place?

Why does the workday contains all those social events, like gossiping at the coffee machine, going to lunch together, those monthly pot luck lunches, and the annual holiday party? Although many people enjoy these events, they also serve a team building function. Employees who are friends with each other just seem to get along better on group projects, help each other out in a crisis, and pick up each others’ slack.

As illogical as it may be, individuals who aren’t social can be viewed by others with suspicion. People who enjoy parties and group lunches often just assume that everyone else does too. So, the individual who isn’t participating isn’t considered to be shy, but rather judged as stuck up or considering herself to be too good for the group, or just not a team player. Even worse, the social crowd is probably not even aware of the assumptions they’re making, so it’s nearly impossible for an outsider to change their ideas.

You might want to view the social engagements at work as additional work assignments. You don’t have to enjoy them, but you’ll get some workplace credits for attending. It can be just something else you have to do at work. Your goal is to be considered as friendly, aboveboard and a team player. It isn’t a problem if you’re viewed as shy and reserved and even a bit of a loner.

2) The one mandatory social event

What’s the one social activity that you must participate in? The morning greeting. When you first see a coworker, it’s very important to say, “Good morning.” Try to smile, and look directly at her for just a moment. That’s all. It’s quick, scripted, and buys you a great deal of goodwill if done on a regular basis.

3) You don’t have to socialize all the time, just some of the time

A small degree of workplace socializing can go a long way toward having others view you as a team player. Pick and choose which social activities will be easiest to participate in, and skip those that you really dread. If a coworker asks why you didn’t attend the Saturday Karaoke Party, you can easily state that you need a lot of down time after a long week, and you just didn’t feel like a party. And, if you’re telling this over coffee on Monday morning, your coworker will see that you can be friendly.

4) Some social events are easier than others

For many women, some types of social events can be more enjoyable than others. Generally, more structured activities can be easier than less organized ones. Many women would much rather spend twenty minutes in the break room having the June birthday cake than going out for a beer on a Friday evening. For other women, large noisy gatherings can be overwhelming, but a simple lunchtime walk with a few other people can be fine.

5) You’re not invited to everything!

It’s important to figure out the rules about who’s invited to any gathering. Of course, if someone asks you along, you can probably assume you’re wanted. And, for company events, everyone is welcome. But, often coworkers become close personal friends, and they may not welcome you joining them for lunch. Try joining in the most casual activities first, like sharing the table in the lunch room, or chatting at the water cooler. See how friendly people are. If you notice a few people standing very close and whispering, assume it’s a private conversation. If they look up, smile, and greet you, you’ve been invited to join the group.

6) Setting Up a social event

It can be easiest to set something up when you’re together casually, and then pay attention to your coworker’s response. You might mention a restaurant you’ve wanted to try, or state how you love to walk around the block on these beautiful summer days. A friendly response would be something like, “Let’s all do that tomorrow!” or “Let me know next time you’re going.” Less friendly responses would be less enthusiastic and more vague, like, “Maybe we can all go there sometime.” or “That sounds good.” With these responses, you don’t have an event set up, but you’re coworkers are being open, so you can mention it again. If you hear something like, “Oh, I hate walking!” or “I’m pretty busy.” your opening has been rejected. Try not to take it personally, just move on to a friendlier coworker.

7) Don’t forget what you learned in Junior High

Just like when you were in seventh grade, not everyone will be friendly. Try to spend time with the people who talk to you, who ask you about the weekend or your kids. Avoid those who gossip or badmouth other coworkers, or who seem to be excluding you. Almost every company includes a few kind, friendly individuals, people who really want to be friends with you.

Whether you end up enjoying it or not, workplace socializing is important. Make a few simple changes and your coworkers and bosses will view you as friendly, trustworthy and a great part of the team.

What is psychotherapy? Psychotherapy entails a close relationship between a therapist and a client in structured, regular sessions with the purpose of treating emotional and behavioral symptoms, alleviating emotional discomfort, and improving overall mental health and adjustment. It may be administered in individual or in group therapy sessions. Therapists are credentialed, licensed professionals with specific training in psychotherapy. They usually adhere to one or another of some theoretical model of personality structure and dynamics. They follow ethical guidelines and are mandated to employ evidence-based procedures. The relationship between the therapist and the client is considered to be an important component of the treatment. Practitioners are typically psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and counselors. Psychotherapy is usually differentiated from counseling which deals with practical, everyday situations but does not ordinarily attempt more intensive personality change. Psychotherapy may or may not be administered in conjunction with psychotropic medication.

When do I need psychotherapy? Psychotherapy has proven to be effective in treating a variety of psychiatric diagnoses and conditions such as anxiety disorders, mood disorders, thinking disorders, and personality or character disorders. Conditions such as depression, generalized anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, social anxiety disorder, and specific phobias are often treated. Therapists may also be skilled in teaching social skills in conditions such as autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, and mental retardation. Stress management, anger management, assertiveness training and parenting skills, are often addressed. Some therapists are specifically trained to do marriage and couples counseling

What are the different types of psychotherapy? Psychodynamically oriented therapies, including psychoanalysis, accept the importance of unconscious processes. Psychoanalysis, pioneered by Sigmund Freud at the turn of the century, requires intensive treatment, often three or four times a week, and use techniques of free association and dream interpretation. Other therapies may be less intense but are effective for specific problems. Humanistic approaches place faith in the healthy parts of personality and employ positive approaches to treatment, focusing less on pathology than on emotional growth. Cognitive-behavioral approaches, pioneered by Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck, focus upon correcting irrational thoughts that affect self-defeating emotional and behavioral responses.

How do I get psychotherapy? Your family doctor may help you decide if you need psychotherapy and should be able to make a referral. It may be helpful to call the local office of professional associations of psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, or counselors, such as.The American Psychological Association, for a list of licensed practitioners. Therapists list themselves in the Yellow Pages of the telephone Directory but it is best to have a personal referral and to ensure that the person listed is licensed for what he or she provides.
Dr. Rosen is a doctoral level, licensed clinical psychologist. He has over 38 years experience in clinical work, teaching, research, writing, and administration.

Asperger’s Syndrome was first described by an Austrian physician in the 1930s. The official diagnostic criteria of Asperger’s Syndrome accepted by The American Psychiatric Association includes impairment in social interactions; repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior without significant deficits in language development or cognitive ability. However Asperger’s Syndrome may result in social,occupational, and other areas of functioning

Children with this disorder may be extremely sensitive to sudden noises and certain types of sensory input. They may suffer from motor clumsiness. They demonstrate an avoidance of eye contact. Their language may be pedantic and somewhat odd. They often talk more like an adult than a child. They provide too much information and have trouble getting to the point. They may be perfectionist and believe that they are incompetent at doing things. They are poor at organization. Good at dealing with objects, they are poor at dealing with people. They have difficulty recognizing and expressing feelings. They seem to lack the words to express their own feelings.They are delayed in social maturity and have difficulty making friends. They may exhibit intense interest in certain topics and become quite knowledgeable about these topics. Yet they are distracted with topics that did not arouse their interest. They are described as having a “one track mind” They can be inflexible and unable to find an alternative when one solution does not work. They do not tolerate sudden changes in routine, such as a substitute teacher. In those situations that may have an emotional meltdown. They may be negative, pessimistic, and fearful of making a mistake. The term “theory of mind” is used to describe their inability to understand the intentions of feelings of others. They do not recognize sarcasm and may mistakenly believe that others are laughing at them.

The cause of Asperger’s has not been identified. It tends to run in families. There is some neurological evidence that the amygdala, a structure in the limbic system of the brain associated with emotion may be abnormal, with fewer connections to the frontal lobe. They may exhibit abnormal degrees of anger, anxiety, and sadness. and are emotionally over-reactive.

Children with Asperger’s require a toolbox of strategies and interventions to help them socially and emotionally. Sometimes medication for anxiety, depression, and mood swings may help. However, they also require social and emotional tools to stay calm and in control. Affective education can help teach these children to recognize facial expressions and non-verbal cues of others. They can benefit from being taught social skills such as eye contact and rehearsal of social situations. (”What would you do if…?) They can be taught to label their feelings with an emotional barometer and to recognize and respond to cues that things are getting out of hand. Solitude is the best curative for loss of emotional control. Keeping diaries, writing e-mail, listening to music can be helpful. Classroom accommodations are usually necessary, such as permission to leave the room when they feel themselves becoming upset.

Asperger’s is not all bad. If social demands can be minimized Asperger’s adults may become highly successful as mathematicians, physicists, even corporate executives. Some claim that Einstein demonstrated symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome. A child with Asperger’s Syndrome remarked to me that if a cure could be found, he would not agree to take it. “I am who I am,” he explained. “Killing that part of my brain that is Asperger’s would be changing my personality.”

Asperger’s syndrome is an autistic disorder. It affects mostly the children. Their activities are affected. The strength and weakness of a child should be observed so that it will help them in planning activities and learning, and with recreational development.

Children with Asperger’s syndrome have a conversation problem, their motor function is affected, do not interact much socially, hypersensitive to smell, touch and sound.

Asperger’s syndrome is different from that of the autism. In autism, the children behave awkwardly in any social places. Their most important feature is the lack of empathy in social interaction. Good behaviour and social norms are well-known by them, but their behaviour remains bad as they are not able to behave good ones even though they are aware of it.

There had always been a debate whether to classify Asperger’s syndrome people as different or as disabled.

There are different tools, games and other activities available which parents can help them out in making use of it.

TOYS AND ACTIVITIES:
The different colors and different shapes of the toys are enjoyed by the kids. Building type games, jigsaw puzzles, and Lego blocks are all very much liked by the kids. They can even be taught of video games and computer games. With the help of the child’s videos, they can be taught as to how to behave at social places and they can be thought about social interaction as well. Social interaction and teaching well behaviour is the most important part that a child needs to understand and hence, adequate time can be spent on this so that they understand the true value of it. While teaching them these important needs, one should keep in mind the age of a child. Few of the behaviour will not be understood by kids of specific age even though they are normal.

BOOKS:
Interesting books with a variety of colours and texture can be found catchy by the kid. Pop-up books are liked by the kids and with these books, language and social behaviour can be taught to a child.

SCHOOLS:
The child can be of two types, either highly intelligent or of normal intelligence. There are schools available for these Asperger’s syndrome kids which helps them to understand things in a better way in a classroom environment. The entire staff of the school should know what this syndrome is, so that they understand the mind and capacity of a kid. Small classrooms with minimal voices should be carried on as the kid may get affected with heavy noises. Social behaviour will be affected if all these are not followed. Both parents and teacher should know this.

There are wheelchair van and wheelchair lifts available in the market so that this type of children will get aid and help with their daily activities.